Saturday, 28 May 2011

Crohn Idle

Slowly but surely getting used to being back at work again. This getting up at 7a.m and only having two (TWO?!) days off a week caper has been a shock to my delicate system. 
It's been great to feel useful again and have the chance to converse with someone other than the cat. He's wonderful but sometimes I just don't think he contributes enough to the conversation. :(
My job is certainly not rocket science but I have been surprised that it's not been as easy as I had thought it might be to just slither back into my seat like i'd never left. I'm pretty rusty and that's kind of knocked my confidence a bit. I know it will take time but I start to get irritated with myself then feel like a failure! Which helps no one. I'm so keen to get back to Kathleen BC (Before Crohn's) and I need to accept is not going to happen and allow myself to adapt.
Most of my colleagues know all about Mr Crohn's and how well he and I have become acquainted in the last year. Although unless you know someone with the disease or are unfortunate enough to suffer from it yourself, people are often oblivious to the ins and (more specifically) outs of it. Hence why the lady discussing any adjustments I might need now i'm back advised me that now i'm "better" nothing further will be required. Then followed an embarrassing conversation where I was made to feel pretty much like I was 'bigging up' what's wrong with me. 
Her other helpful suggestion was to move me away from the friends i've worked with for the last 4 years and sit me at a desk by the toilet. Thanks. I've always wanted to feel like the office freak, perched vicariously on my seat just in case I have to run like the wind (pardon the pun) to the toilet at any given moment. Why not just put a phone in the toilet cubicle with me and leave me to it? Or just adapt my seat to make it into some sort of flush-able bidet so I never have to leave my desk at all? 
Sarcasm aside, things are generally going well. It's lovely to feel like I have a purpose and obviously starting to earn a proper wage again doesn't go amiss!
But for now it's the weekend and i'll slip into my more comfortable role of duvet, biscuits and daytime tv. A role I EXCEL in. 

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