Thursday, 18 August 2011

Two Birds with One Crohn

It's been a very stressful week, where a lot of rubbish stuff has gone on, and bad news seems to have been pouring in from all angles of my social circle. None of which I particularly want to share with planet Earth (no offence, I obviously trust you all implicitly), but needless to say, various problems have been popping up all over the shop and none of them are Crohn's related. 
However, even though lots of other issues have taken priority over my illness recently, Mr Crohn's has still been lingering in the background and clambering for my attention like a spoilt child. Stress aggravates Crohn's and therefore i've been feeling pretty rotten all week. 
So, in a desperate attempt to to find something positive out of an abundance of negatives, i've tried to listen to so called 'positive' people - one of whom advised me of that old adage; "Laughter really is the best medicine!" - Is it really? This thought has led me to investigate (and rip to shreds) other 'positive' theories regarding health and happiness throughout history...

'Laughter is the best medicine' - Proverb 
- No it's not. It's not. If it were, thousands of nurses and doctors have wasted a helluva lot of time studying for years. In my case, for the moment anyway, Mercaptopurine is the best medicine. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to laugh, and yes, laughter and happiness usually go hand in hand, but I could laugh until my sides literally split and i'd still have Crohn's Disease (and deformed sides). 

'Let food be thy medicine, and let thy medicine be food' - Hippocrates
- As any Crohn's sufferer knows, food is the absolute opposite of 'thy medicine'. Food is akin to catnip for Crohn's patients like me, the temptation to eat to excess is sometimes overwhelming, but too much or the wrong thing and it whips my bowels into a frenzy and i'm out of my tiny mind in pain all night.

'Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory' - Albert Schweitzer
- I see where you are going with that Al, but as I have both a rubbish memory and my health leaves a lot to be desired, does that mean I am destined to be unhappy? 

And finally..

'The best activities for your health are humping and pumping' - Arnold Schwarzenegger
- In all my many visits to doctors and health professionals, i've sadly never been prescribed either 'humping' nor 'pumping' :( Arnold (MD) has clearly taken his own form of medical advice (hence the love-child) but much as i'd love if life was that simple, i'll reluctantly stick to the medication. 

All very enlightening, however I think i'll go with a quote from that right honourable wartime leader who looks like every newborn ever produced, Sir Winston Churchill, who once apparently said; 
'Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference'
Very true I feel, so i'll try to remain positive when all around me is distinctly pants, and hope that the 'big difference' is not too far on the horizon. Either that or i'll get all over that humping theory Arnie-style. 


  1. I notice you dissed all the Germans and sided with the one British man. At least you're not a traitor!

  2. Schwarzenegger = 100% Austrian
    Hippocrates = 100% Greek
    Schweitzer = 50% German 50% French
    Nicholls = 10% British 90% Crohn's x