Monday, 5 November 2012

#NHBPM 26th November

'Interview your Health'

Today the author of this fine blog, Miss Kathleen Nicholls, will be interviewing her Health.
Let the fireworks commence!

KN- "Hi Health, are you well?"
H- "Hi Kath! Wel.."
KN- "No point in answering that one really as clearly, CLEARLY, you are not. Neither of us are, are we?"
H- "We'll I think thats a little harsh.."
KN- "The fact that you are an absolute bastard isn't up for debate, the question is WHY?"
H- "If I could first defend myself.."
KN- "No. You can't. Because I can't defend myself against you now can I?"
H- "Ah, we'll I see where you are coming from.."
KN- *yawns* "Skip to the part where you explain your complete bastardness please"
H- "I feel this is going nowhere. I sense so much hostility from you.."
KN- "Really? Really?! You've brought this on yourself big guy! I was happily going about my business until YOU decided to ruin all that by landing an incredible disease on my arse. Now I have to navigate my way through life with symptoms I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, spend time in and out of hospital and have bits of my once untarnished body mutilated by the surgeons knife.."
H- "We'll obviously I'm very sorry you feel that way.."
KN- "Oh your 'sorry?!' What use are your apologies to me?! Are you going to make us better? Are you going to perk up your act and start acting like a normal person?"
H- "Oh do stop whining! Christ I can't talk to you when you are like this! Always the drama queen.."
KN- *aghast* "I am NOT!"
H- "Are too"
KN- "Am not! Right this is ridiculous. I'm understandably very angry with you and you don't seem to care."
H- "I do. I'm diseased too you know. We are in this diseased body together"
KN- "But I can't do anything about it- you are in control"
H- "I can only give you the hand nature dealt us, rely on you giving me a helping hand and staying positive"
KN- "Im positive that your an idiot"
H- "Oh grow up"
KN- "What, so now my growths stunted?! Because again that's YOUR problem"
H- "I don't have to sit here and listen to this"
KN- "Oh yes you do. In fact I think I need the toilet again.."
H- "No, please, not again.."
KN- "You've brought this on yourself. That, and that curry we ate 5hrs ago. Lets go"

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