Is that the fault of the 'gloomy' weather?
Is it the government?
Or perhaps it's the soul-crushing disappointment we feel, stuck in jobs we hate day in day out waiting for the sweet relief of death to take us?
Or maybe it's all of the above?
(What was it I was saying about us looking on the gloomier side of life..?)
But as I approach the end of another year, I've decided to try something novel. I've opted to attempt to waltz into 2016 with a click of my heels and a bag filled with the happy memories I want to keep going forward. I want to take some time to reflect on all the good in my life. I'm not going to make resolutions; I don't really see the point - mostly they just make me feel like an underachiever when I inevitably break those 2 weeks into the New Year. Plus, my heart breaks for all the gym staff laid off after February due to lapsed memberships.
So what am I thankful for?
I'm thankful I'm still alive, and for the doctors and nurses who help me stay that way.
I'm thankful for the man I love and my family and friends.
I'm thankful for cats. And Jon Hamm and James Spader.
All of those things make me happy in their own unique and wonderful ways. This year I'm also thankful for my treatment: Infliximab. This is my first year on a biologic treatment and so far so good. Thanks to these infusions I'm not in pain every waking minute! I'm 'better'. Like any Crohn's treatment it's by no means a miracle worker, but despite a bumpy start, it's certainly doing the trick for me so far. And for that I'm very grateful.
Having an incurable illness and trying something new can be incredibly daunting. It's essential to stay as well as possible and for me that means finding the right treatment and sticking to it. Deviating from workable medicine is dangerous and life-threatening. (Special shout-out here to the daily emails I receive telling me Aloe Vera/ Manuka Honey/ Paleo Diet /etc will cure me - you are the anti-Christ but I do so admire you're perseverance!)
I'm also thankful to the amazing publishers who have taken a chance on my writing and are through some miracle choosing to publish my Crohn's book in 2016! Potentially theeee most exciting thing that happened this year, aside from that night Mad Men AND The Blacklist were one in one night. This book is exciting as it has both made me feel more confident in my own abilities, and is granting me the chance to help others on a wider scale. I know I would have welcomed the opportunity to learn about living with my illness when I was diagnosed and terrified - I want my book to do just that! (Not terrify, help I mean. Although I do talk about my rear-end quite a bit so the first point may also be applicable).
I'm also thankful for all of you. Wherever and whoever you are. You take the time to read my ramblings and for that I am VERY grateful. I promise to untie you and remove the cocktail sticks from your eyes on New Years Eve.
So Happy Christmas to you ALL! Let's raise a delicious glass of bowel prep to a Happy (and healthy) New Year! X